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I am writing to you on behalf of a friend who is having difficulties with seeing and speaking to his mother because his sister who has the power of attorney has him tied up in legal knots. She has set up certain times when he can see or talk to her at the facility where she lives (Country Winds Manor in Cresco, IA. ) But most of the time when he calls, the staff wont put his calls through to his mom; or they listen in on an extension line to whats being said! He just recently saw her for the first time since his birthday in August of last year. She had a Christmas gift for him. My friend has contacted Senator Rob Hogg regarding Senate File#306 and has been told that his sister is operating outside the scope of her powers by preventing them from communicating with each other. The person who told him that was Iowa Legal Aid staff attorney Mr. Jason Burdick. He does have a copy of the document that was sent to him. I know he believes that it was a very great thing that a persona such as Ms. Kasem developed this bill which became law to protect people from having family members kept apart simply because 1 or 2 people want all the control! He is a member of a protected class of people because of a disability further making his sisters behavior even more illegal and reprehensible under the A.D.A. which is a federal law which somehow nobody seems to be paying attention to! This mans sister is a bully, working at a job she hates; but still managing to convince their mother she is simply looking out for her best interests of all things! He has contacted several agencies looking for help in this matter; and so far they are telling him they dont have the time or the staff to assist him! Please Ms. Kasem; if you know of someone who can help my friend please contact him. His address is 514 5th Ave. W. Apt. 24 in Cresco, IA. 52136. His phone number is 563-203-0720. Or you can send him an E-mail at c.barnes.41@outlook.com. He does prefer physical mail or a voice mail; he does check them often. He will be very thankful to receive assistance with this issue for we both feel it has gone on far too long already!! P.S. I was a certified Geriatric Nurses Aide years ago, my father was Administrator of 2 different facilities, and my mother was an administrative assistant so there is knowledge of care facilities in our past. My friend has been a police officer with training from R.C.T.C. in Rochester, MN. All hes asking for is some help in evening out the scales of justice! I want to assure you that I am a qualified source of information in this matter; and I have known this man for almost 16 years!
My mothers husband died, after death his daughter has signed her property in her name,has sold her car,has control over finishes, now waiting to put her In a convalescent home,keeping her lock away from everyone. I need help ASAP.
hi,my name is Kathy Alexander..I was very close to my parents,Newton Cyril Alexander,& my Mom Joyce Rosalie Alexander.They last lived in Claremont California.I lived in Northern,ca from 1979-2003.I had been 100% disabled in 2000,due to a back injury sustained at work.from the time I was born until 2013,I spent every Christmas with my parents,and every birthday,every minute I could spend with them I did.My brother,Michael Newton Alexander & his wife Stephanie Alexander,for whatever reason,quit speaking to my parents,from 1992-2002.
My brother Michael is an intl attorney,in Saudi Arabia.His wife Stephanie shops!They have 4 children.Mandie C.Paredez,of Henderson,Nv,Elizabeth Rose Alexander McKenna,Carter Michael Alexander of Behrain,& Caitlin Emily Alexander.My Mom became ill in Oct of 2012.My Dad,was diagnosed with Parkinsons disease years ago.When my Mom,ended up in ICU,on Dec 11,2012.Prior I had spent 2 weeks with my parents,this was the last thanksgiving,I would spend with them together.My Mom was in Renal Failure,by Dec.12th of 2012,I new something was wrong with me then,it took everything I had to go see her.It was so hard to see a woman that drove,and was independent,to not being able to write her own name.I suffered a nervous breakdown.during this time.Prior to Moms hospitalization,I voluntarily admitted myself to Redlands Hospital,in Redlands ca,for psychiatric care.At the time of my Moms hospitalization,even though I was not close to my brother nor my sister in law,I had put a call out to them.Stephanie called back,& spoke to my Dad,but was reluctant to talk to me.I begged her for help,& she came thru with flying colors.She was in California,at the time.she always came there in October,to get ready for the holidays,as two of her children live in Henderson ,Nevada,one lived in Fullerton,Ca..as well as their grandchildren.
Even though Stephanie had taken on taking care of my Mom,while she was in Pilgrims place,in Claremont,ca I still had some skeptisisim.After all where were they for 20 years?Why did they not allow my parents to see their grandchildren?It wasnt until I contacted Mandie,my oldest niece,during the time of the horrible wildfires of 2002,I was living up North,& couldnt get to Southern Ca, because of the fires,my parents lost their home,& everything in it.Mandie lived close by,& went & checked their house.It was burnt to the foundation.My parents were in Laughlin,nevada,at the time.I spoke with Mandie on the phone,& told her to get hold of my brother Mike,tell him there had been a family tragedy,& that he needed to get home & be with my parents,who were now in Palm springs,ca living in an extended stay.He flew out 2 days later,his whole family showed up there to be with my parents.
That was the first contact they had had in years.From there on,until my Mom died in Sept 2013,my parents relationship with Michael & Stephanie had seemingly improved.During the time.My parents,had fixed their will to where I was the executor,I was POA for financial,& POA for Healthcare,I was also to receive all the contents of my parents home,checking & saving accts,both of their retirement pensions.All of this would be put into a medical trust to help me with any rehab,surgeries,any medical needs I had.after they were both deceased. But by the summer of 2013,I wasnt improving mentally.& my brother at this time was made,Executor,POA of financial,& Stephanie POA of Healthcare.Which at the time,I felt was fine, My Mom had insisted that we go pick up all of her jewelry,& take it home.Also she told me prior to MY hospitalization,she started crying & told me that she wanted me to have her wedding ring About a week after we got the suitcase with her jewelry in it ,then I received a call from Michael,that we to return the suitcase immediately!!I dont know why I let him intimidate me!!didnt realize that they would take that suitcase & all the jewelry in it!I then asked Stephanie where my Moms wedding ring was,& she said she had it.I told her mom wanted me to have it a few weeks went on,& I called her again,She didnt return my call,but Dad said,that Elizabeth had taken it to get it sized for me!!!She didnt know my size!!I called her and she said she doesnt have the ring!!So my MOMS WISHES were NEVER GRANTED. Also Caitlin was living at my parents home ,she told me that when we took the Kinkade pictures with my Dad,that Stephanie said,those were her pictures!!!!!!!!None of those were hers!!My Dad told us before we moved to get anything we wanted out of the house,especially those pictures!!Because they were beautiful,& also worth a lot of money.Stephanie told my Dad that we sold them.They are all up on our walls,with the exception of the 4 Stephanie took.She also had the locks changed,but she failed change the lock on the backdoor!!So Joy & some of our friends,,went in and took some chairs,& a few other things,& left the rest.Which there was a lot left.But since I found the will,it wasnt signed by Dads atty ,nor anyone.I already have a medical set aside for my back,from workmans comp.But alot of things were missing from their home already.About a week or more,prior to my Moms death,I again admitted myself ,this time to Riverside Behavioral Hospital,in which I was treated for grief,because I was grieving prior to Moms death.I got to see my Mom,one more time,& she looked & acted the best she ever had,since her illness.
Prior to this,we were making payments to my Dad,for what was supposed to be our home eventually .but sometime that summer after the will had changed to my brother being in charge,my Dad refinanced the home,& took out a large amount of equity,without telling us,I knew my brother had told him to do it,by this time,we could tell my Dad was starting to be controlled by Mike & Stephanie.Our house payment went up,we could not afford this much longer.They were starting to control everything,not only my Dads financial& healthcare,but all the way to our family dog,Rocky.Also,my Dad was hospitalized about 6 weeks after my moms death,for Aspiration Pneumonia.I was with him when it happened,& called 911,& the ambulance took him to the hospital.I was at his house for a week,went and saw him everyday.then I went home..as he was transferred to Pilgrims place to recover.The next thing that I found out was,that Dad was going to be moving to an Assisted living place called Pacifica,senior living in Henderson,Nv.months later.where it was a lot cheaper tor him to live,vs California,plus some of the grandkids lived about 5 minutes fm him.It all sounded well,& good.But we were going to have to move,because we couldnt afford these high housepayments,& I couldnt qualify,anywhere in California,for enough money to buy or even rent a home.Dad knew this.He even insisted before he moved,that we take him to the bank to get things out of his security box,including all of his gold,which there were 25 1000 dollar gold coins,that he insisted he give us.We asked him several times,to make sure he wanted to do this,& he told us yes,& he told the banker yes.He was giving it to us to move.Prior to this,he insisted that we go to his home,& take all the Kinkade paintings,for ourselves.He even went with us one time to get some of them,even though Pilgrims place told us,that if we took him from pilgrims place,just to go to dinner , they would call Stephanie to get permission for us to take him anywhere,or they would call the police!!!!It was then,that we truly knew that he was being intimidated & controlled.
I went to Henderson Nevada,to see my Dad,one more time before we moved.Pacifica,was a very nice place,where Dad really liked it there.We were talking to Dad every 2-3 days,& sent him cards weekly..my Dad wanted to remarry,but Michael & Stephanie wouldnt let him.My brother said Quit acting like a schoolboy.I told my Dad I was all for it!!!!!!!!!!!.some months had passed,& he was placed in Kindred ,Flamingo Hospital.Spoke with each other all the time ..the case manager,had told me in May of 2015,that since he was in a nursing home environment,that his health status,couldnt be kept from us .then in September of 2015,we had made plane,hotel & car reservations..I had called my Dad that Sunday,that we would be flying to Nevada, for a week,to see him.He was so excited.Then I called him Weds,and when the nurses station answered the phone,they told me that STEPHANIE,had told the entire staff,,that they werent allowed to give me..any information.,even the case manager told me this..I called APS,& ELDER LAW in Nevada .They told me there was nothing they could do!!!I spent money,trying to find my Dad,on BEENVERIFIED.COM,INTELLIUS.COM&CHECKMATE.COM.IT showed the last place my dad lived was CLAREMONT,CA.IT ALSO SHOWED THAT MY MOM,LIVED WITH MY NIECE ELIZABETH UNTIL HER DEATH AT 77 YRS OF AGE.MY MOM DIED WHEN SHE WAS 75.Since this time,my DAD called twice once on OCT.6 2015 on his birthday & again, on THANKSGIVING DAY .BUT THAT DAY,STEPHANIE TOLD JOY THAT WE HAD 5 mins..& that if we mentioned her name once,SHE WOULD HANG UP THE PHONE.MY DAD WAS CALLING FM HER CELLPHONE,& BEING PROMPTED ON WHAT TO SAY TO US.WHEN WE ASKED HIM IF HE COULD TELL US WHERE HE WAS,HE SAID NO!!!!!!!!!!HE SAID HE WAS A RESIDENT..THAT WAS ALL.Its hard to understand my Dad sometimes ..but after he said that,he said BYE then the phone went dead .Everything it says on here about the person being scared,,,intimidated,humiliated,being dependent on them,the whole scenario is my Dad& what he is going through.He is close to end stage Parkinsons,he needs to be able to talk to me,Im his only Daughter & his only hope!These people are controlling my Dad,everything he wants,everything he does,is what THEY WANT HIM OR WILL ALLOW HIM to do.The kids wont tell me where he is,nor my parents friends,not even my Moms sister .Its because they have THREATENED HIM & THEM. I received a call,from someone,that told me my Dad was being put on Medicaid what happened to my dads 4,000.00 pension??AND MY MOMS TIAA RETIREMENT FUND?IT SOUNDs Like Mike & Stephanie depleted it.Whats more what gave them the right,to take all my Moms Jewelry,& other things that we had given her her wedding ring, the kinkade pictures,christmas items,that I had bought her,all the things we had bought my DadMost are gone!!!!!!!!!THIS IS ELDER ABUSE OF THE HIGHEST FORM!WE NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!!MY DADS RIGHTS & OUR RIGHTS HAVE BEEN VIOLATED!!!!!!HOW DO WE GET HELP TO TALK TO MY DAD,& SEE HIM WHEN WE HAVE THE MONEY TO DO SO???PLEASE HELP US!!!!!!!!THIS IS WRONG!MY DAD NEEDS US!PLEASE HELP US!!!!!!!!!THANKS SO MUCH,KATHY & JOY ALEXANDER
HELLO, MY SITUATION DEALS WITH TRUSTED FINANCIAL ADVISORS/CONFIDANTS OF MY LATE HUSBAND KNOWING AND HAVING ACCESS TO HIS RETIREMENT ACCOUNTS ALONG WITH THE BUSINESS. KNOWING FIRST HAND I WAS A YOUNG STAY AT HOME MOM NEVER BEING INVOLVED IN ANY OF THE ABOVE I WAS MISLED AND HAVE BEEN DENIED MY CIVIL RIGHTS , ALONG WITH MY FINANCIAL SHARE AS LEGAL WIDOW AND MOTHER OF HIS ONLY TWO CHILDREN , BEING MINORS AT THE TIME OF HIS DEATH 17,13. I WAS PRESENTED A COPY OF A TRUST AND WILL COMPLETELY ONE SIDED, TOTALLY AGAINST ME, NAMING DAUGHTERS AS BENEFICIARIES, WHICH IS FINE. MY HUSBAND PASSED LAST YEAR, 10/3/14 AND TO DATE THERE HAS BEEN NO FILINGS WITH COURT, THEYVE LIQUIDATED A PROPERTY IN AZ , TAKEN OVER MY HUSBANDS BUSINESS., NO TRUST TAX ID, PURCHASED AND PLACED A GRAVE STONE WITHOUT CONSIDERING /NOTIFYING OUR CHILDREN, WE ONLY FOUND OUT BY ACCIDENT. THE IRONY IS THAT ALL PARTIES INVOLVED HAVE NOT BEEN FOLLOWING CA TRUST LAWS, PROBATE LAW, CORPORATION ,MARRIAGE, TAX, AND DEPENDENT INFIVIDUAL LAW, MUCH LESS FOLLOWING THEIR WILL/TRUST” THAT THEY USED AGAINST ME.
I THINK IT WAS ALL A SCAM KNOWING I WAS OUT OF THE LOOP. MY HUSBAND TRUSTED THESE PEOPLE TO TAKE CARE OF US AND IT BACKFIRED. AFTER HIS PASSING WE DISCOVERED THE TRUTH , SO MY QUESTION IS NOW HOW DO I ENFORCE MY RIGHTS?? THESE PEOPLE HAVE CONTROL OF ASSETS , MY HUSBANDS LONGTIME CPA, A FAMILY FRIEND TO MY HUSBSND , AND A FORMER EMPLOYEE OF MY HUSBAND.
NO BUSINESS ASSETS WERE EVER TRANSFERRED, PRIOR TO HIS PASSING ,YET TRUSTEE OF PURPORTED TRUST IS NOW THE PRESIDENT OF MY HUSBANDS CORPORATION, MOVED OUT OF THE MODEST TOWN WE ALL LIVED IN AND MOVED UP TO A MORE AFFLUENT COMMUNITY WITHIN THE COUNTY ON A RETIREMENT INCOME ALL OF THE SUDDEN. MY HUSBAND FELL ON SEVERAL OCCASION S WHILE UNDER HER CARE, THE LADT FALL BROKE HIS SHOULDER AND IT WAS ALL DOWNHILL FROM THAT POINT, HE LASTED LESS THAN TWO MONTHS..
SHES GIVING US A MONTHLY ALLOWANCE ACCORDING TO HER OR THEIR BENEFIT, CITING SINCE WE ALREADY RECEIVE SSI ITS ENOUGH ACCORDING TO HER. SHE ALSO SOLD A CAR THAT WAS INTEDED FOR OUR COLLAGE AGE DAUGHTER, STATING IT WAS A TRUST ASSET AND THERE WAS LIABILITY INVOLVED???
THIS IS JUST A PREVIEW!
MY HUSBAND DIED OF CANCER ORIGINATING FROM COLON , BUT MANIFESTING TO THE BRAIN CAUSING TUMORS IMPEDING HIS JUDGEMENT.
SIDE NOTE, THE CRIMINALS WERE ASSISTING MY HUSBAND WITH A LAWSUIT STEMMING FROM AN EMBEZZLEMENT CASE AT THE HANDS OF MY HUSBANDS LONGTIME ATTORNEY. CRIMINALS KNEW MY HUSBAND HAD A JUDGEMENT COMING AND WERE COMPLETELY INVOLVED IN THE LEGAL PROCESS CLAIMING TO HELP. IF THE CPA WOULD HAVE BEEN DOING HIS JOB, HE WOULD HAVE CAUGHT THE EMBEZZLEMENT YEARS AGO WHEN IT STARTED. THESE PEOPLE KNEW MY HUDBAND WASNT MENTALLY COMPETANT TO REDO A TRUST, AS 5 DAYS PRIOR TO THE
SIGNING OF TRUST IS WHEN HE FOUND OUT HIS LAWYER OF OVER 30 YEARS HAD EMBEZZLED OVER $100,000 FROM HIM, THIS KIND OF NEWS WOULD AFFECT ANYONE AT ANY AGE .. IT SOUNDS ALOT LIKE UNDUE INFLUENCE TO ME.
I STRONGLY AGREE THERE HAS TO BE SOME ENFORCEMENT, VERIFICATION, AUTHORIZATION BY SEVERAL INDIVIDUALS WHEN IT COMES TO THE CARE OF ELDERLY OR DEPENDENT INDIVIDUALS. MY SITUATION HAS TO DO WITH TRUSTED PROFESSIONALS , SORT OF A WHITE COLLAR CRIME, IF YOU WILL. PEOPLE CAN BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF ON MANY LEVELS BY ANYONE, NOT JUST YOUR SPOUSE OR RELATIVE. PEOPLE DONT EVEN RESPECT DECEDENTS OMLY CHILDREN.
MY QUESTION TODAY IS, HOW CAN TAKE BACK WHAT IS LEGALLY OURS? I CANNOT HIRE A AN ATTORNEY DUE TO MY LIMITED FINANCES, I ONLY HAVE PROOF OF WHAT THEY HAVE DONE.
I HAVE COMPLAINED TO SEVERAL GOVERNMENT AGENCIES, INCLUDING ATTORNEY GENERAL AND ALL IVE RECEIVED ARE RESPONSES SUGGESTING I HIRE AN ATTORNEY, IF I HAD THE MONEY, I WOULD HAVE DONE THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE
I DONT WISH THIS ON ANYONE AND I WOULD GLADLY SHARE MY STORY IN THE HOPES THAT WE CAN GET SOME HELP AND END THIS NIGHTMARE. MY HUSBAND HAD A PROMINENT RESTAURANT IN LA FOR OVER 30 YEARS AND HAD A FOLLOWING.
My brothers been isolated..and will die in the system unless we get help or publicity
In April 2014 some of our family visited my nephew and his wife in TN. We had a great time and we left on great terms as we have during any other visit. In October, 2014 my 35 yr old nephew had a stroke rendering him unable to speak for himself and leaving him with total left sided paralysis. When he had the stroke his wife didnt call 911, but had him walk to the car and she drove him to the hospital. It was a couple of days before she called his mother to notify her. His wife allowed his mother and brother to visit once right after the stroke and after that, she immediately and completely cut him off from his family and no one to this day understands why. The only reason I have thought of is that she has asked his mother and step-father for money in the past and many times they helped them out financially by paying at least for medical bills as well as given them other things (computer, car). We think the wife eventually got upset that after continuously asking for money, his parents suggested helping them with a budget, as well as paying their medical expenses and we think that it upset his wife that they didnt just keep writing out blank checks to them.
I use the word sociopath when speaking of his wife to our other family members because she, to me, displays those signs. She is hurtful, manipulative, controlling, shut-off and she has convinced everyone she knows (from her family, work, and church) that she is the victim and that no one should speak with us. For her to convince so many others of this tells me she is good and knows exactly what shes doing. She is also very well-spoken, well-read, very intelligent, and excels at her job from what we understand.
At first she allowed my nephews best friend to communicate with only my nephews brother and only when and how she dictated. Eventually, she realized she was putting the best friend in a difficult situation and she since has asked some man she knows to serve as a mediator. He clearly is not a professional, objective, mediator- most likely just a friend of hers.
To make matters worse, when my nephew was transferred from the hospital to the dilapidated state-run nursing home he is in, we werent informed of that, and the Home wasnt informed about him even having a family or friends. We found out that his wife didnt even go see him for the first month and everyone who worked in the Home thought that he had no family. She then started going to see him, how often, it is not known.
Recently, she has allowed his mother and step father to see him and only through planning the visit with her mediator/friend. Eventually she said that anyone could go see him as long as they let her know. We think that is only because at the Home they really dont care who goes in there (scary, but in a way, good for us). Thats how it stands as of today.
Since his stroke his wife didnt inform any of the doctors of his very significant past medical history. He had leukemia as a child, received chemo and radiation, has had a lot of negative side effects through today due to those treatments and has been part of a research study at St. Judes Hospital since then. His wife has no idea of the danger she is putting him in by not relaying ALL of his medical information to the treating doctors. What is worse is that since she moved him to the Home, hes had no physical/occupational/speech therapy and we understand he has also had more seizures and strokes since his admission into the Home. We fear he will only continue to deteriorate physically as well as mentally and emotionally from being kept away from his family. We even wonder if the reason his wife has alienated us is that maybe she encouraged him to stop taking his meds since they were giving him problems, and thats when he had the seizure and stroke. Maybe shes afraid well find out she had something to do with the condition hes in now.
His mother isnt even asking to make decisions for him, all she and we want is to be able to see him without interference from his wife and his mother, who works in the medical field wants to be able to communicate with doctors so they have important information that they need for his care.
After all this time of thinking she would come around, his mother, father, and step-father finally consulted with an attorney. The only thing he offered them was filing for conservatorship for his medical care. But if they file, the concern is that it will only upset her and then shell cut us off completely again.
This situation seems like a hostage/kidnapper situation with her calling the shots.
Never in our lives did any of us think we would be in such a situation. There has never been any person in our family like my nephews wife. I keep saying that this seems like something that should go on 20/20, Dateline, or could even be a Lifetime movie. We just arent sure how to proceed from here.
From what Ive read, it looks like this Bill pertains to elderly people, but we now see that the bigger picture is not only the elderly, but really any person unable to fend for themselves, which could be at any age. Maybe this bill will get some things in motion. I am very sorry for what your family endured. Thank you for taking the time and effort to create such a positive outcome from a sad situation.
My Dad passed away in January 2013. Since then my mother has been surrounded by my sisters. Making me more and more uncomfortable as time passed. Until late 2013 when my sister and brother created a family separation. That ended my relationship with them and my mother. My mother has turned into a scared and vengeful person. Because of the manipulation from my two siblings. They have talked her out of spending time with her youngest son (me) and my son her youngest grandchild. Even by talking her our of attending my wedding, not giving me her forwarding address. Now, she is forced to relay all communication with me through my sister. I believe she is being controlled and manipulated at every turn. My sister or the company she works for control her lease. So, she is fearful to invite me to her home. No one should have that sort of power over someone else.
Happening to my brother now .spent 3000.00 just to b able to visit n I dont have money
Here is a scam occurring on Kauai. This story is not the only documented case. Other heirs of Hawaii Attorney Nancy Budds deceased clients have since came forward claiming the decedents were also victims. Even though we have several cases of elders in Kauai being defrauded through their living trusts which were all drafted by Attorney Nancy Budd only a few short months before their deaths, Hawaii agencies have yet to investigate, report and hold any of the ones involved accountable. SENIORS BEWARE!! A professional solicitor exerted undue influence upon a 75 yr old, elderly man, in poor health in Hawaii. Who only hired the estate planning attorney to draft his estate plan. The attorney who was also a board member, council member, legal advisor and fiduciary for the non profit charity The Hawaii Community Foundation drafted her associated charity into the mans trust for half of his entire estate. Hawaii Attorney Nancy J Budd drafted, witnessed and notarized the mans trust which gifted $500,000 to her nonprofit. After the elderly man met with Attorney Nancy J. Budd he was found suspiciously deceased exactly 7 months later in Kauai. Here we have a Hawaii State Board of Education member, who scams her elderly estate planning clients via her own private practice. As well as with her position as a board member of The Hawaii Community Foundation nonprofit charity. Please share this story! It could happen to you and your family. Hawaii Elder Law Estate Planning Attorney Nancy J. Budd Yamakawa Nancy Budd. This case needs to be investigated. The complete story can be viewed at the following link: judicialcorruptionnews.com/nancy-j-budd/
A Grandmother in Peril
By Jennifer Warner
I desperately fear for my 100-year-old grandmothers well being. She lives in Sonora, CA (Northern California, east of Modesto). As a child, she rescued me from foster care and took me in as her own, but now my hands are tied so that I cannot take care of her when she needs me the most. The person who has tied them is a man of nearly absolute power: he controls the very air that she breathes and the food she is allowed to eat. He is her court-appointed Conservator and is set to control her estate once she dies. Until then, he controls her food, clothing, shelter, medical care, and in-home personal care. As he himself has proudly declared, he basically controls her life.
This man was trusted with his lofty position due to a family conflict over how my grandmothers money would be used to pay for her growing care needs. He came with an impressive sounding titleCalifornia licensed professional fiduciaryand was touted as a fair and neutral third-party who would help diffuse the conflict. He was given the job only after an extensive interview process, during which he represented to me that I could continue caring for my grandmother on a day-to-day basis and could continue supervising her medical care. Once he had the job, he drastically changed course. During the month of November 2014, he isolated my grandmother from her family. We had to come at certain times of the day, and all of our visits had to be closely monitored by privately paid caregivers who reported back to the Conservator. One of those caregivers put towels in my grandmothers windows so that no one could see in. The Conservator also instructed the caregivers to unplug my grandmothers phone for most of the day.
On Dec. 2nd, the Conservator arranged for liquid morphinea powerful respiratory depressantto be delivered to her home to help with respiratory distress, which none of her family members could detect. He instructed her caregivers to administer the morphine as needed for her supposed respiratory distress. He was undeterred by the fact that they were not medical professionals and some had never even given morphine before. In fact, he boldly insisted that he himself could put the morphine in her mouthdespite the fact that he has no medical training other than basic first aid. Had the morphine been given to my grandmother, her precious life may have been cut short.
Deeply troubled, I filed a report with Tuolumne County Adult Protective Services. APS forwarded my report to the Court Investigator in the Probate Court that appointed the Conservator. I went to local law enforcement, and they also determined that my concerns needed to be handled by the Probate Court. I filed a complaint with the Conservators state licensing board, and an investigator requested a copy of the Court Investigators report to help her figure out what to do. I received one message loud and clear: only the Court should monitor its own.
Meanwhile, the Court Investigator assured me that she would look into my concerns and would present her findings to the Probate Court Judge. She went on to craft a report that fully supported her colleague, the Conservator. Just recently, it was confirmed that the Court Investigator did not even investigate the facts underlying my concerns, but, instead, reported information that was favorable to the Conservatoreven when much of this information had not been corroborated. Despite my several requests to change Conservators, the Judge has kept this Conservator in power. And, yes, she gave great weight to the Court Investigators report.
In explaining the reason for the morphine, the Conservator stated that my grandmother had less than a month to live. I was not allowed to verify this prediction because he had taken away my ability to communicate freely with my grandmas medical professionals. However, when I observed my grandmother, I saw no significant decline and so I intervened so that she would not receive the morphine. When I finally could speak to the medical staff, they had no idea where the Conservators dire prediction came from and they explained that the morphine had been prescribed only as a precaution.
Nine months later, my grandmother is still alive and proclaiming that she wants to hit 101. Yet protecting her delicate life continues to be a struggle. The Conservator finally gave up on the administration of morphine, but, since then, I have witnessed a whole host of other suspicious happenings.
My grandmother is supposed to be on 24/7 oxygen, yet her oxygen has sometimes been left off for extended periods of time and her oxygen level allowed to plummet. Rather than showing concern about her falling oxygen levels, the Conservator implemented restrictions on how often family members could check her oxygen level.
On two different occasions, my grandmother had a medical emergency, but neither the Conservator nor the caregivers called 9-1-1. It is probable that the first was a mini-stroke, but the Conservator would not allow the test that would have confirmed this diagnosis. And the caregivers who were on duty at the time refused to answer any questions about what happened. Her quality of life has not been the same since.
My grandmother has also been confined to her bed for over four monthseven though the doctor keeps saying that it is safe for her to be helped out of bed and she has two caregivers on duty around the clock. A woman who used to walk miles a day and is still strong enough to stand now spends her days looking at the walls of her bedroom. Not only is she missing out on some of lifes simple pleasures, being bedridden puts her at risk for several medical problems, such as pneumonia, bedsores, and muscle atrophy.
When I speak up about these troubling occurrences, the Conservator ignores me. According to him, I need to stay in my place and be just a granddaughter. Never mind that my grandmother raised an assertive woman who is now a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Certified Care Manager, specializing in older adults. I must learn to submit to the authority of a man who took a 30-hour course and passed a two-hour licensing exam.
And I already know what will happen if I bring my ongoing concerns to the attention of one of the agencies charged with protecting older adults. Any report will boomerang back to the Probate Court to investigate one of its own. So the Conservator keeps his job and escapes accountability. My grandmothers health is continually at risk. And I cannot escape constant worry and stress. I receive my mandate to look out for my grandmother from a Higher Authority, and no Conservatorand no Courtcan take that away from me. And so I muster the courage to share my story and, in so doing, I hope to regain some of my personal power.
After two years I no longer had the financial means to fight in court to get my mom back. My cousins took control of my mother who has Alzheimers After my dad died even had a diagnosis from a neurologist. Within three months my cousins had every asset of my moms turned over into their name and within two years married her off to a family member. He now controls her and will not allow anyone to see her and takes her out of town often to keep us away from her. My mother wants to see her grandchildren hasnt seen them in years but he just took her out of town again. This battle has worn me and my family down and would appreciate greatly any help and support. Thank you for what you are doing.
I heard this is a great organization to help victims of elder abuse. Who can I contact for more information?
I lost my father in 1988 to pancreatic cancer. I had no clue that not only would our lives be different because of our loss, but because emotional abuse would soon begin to my mom. I had no clue until just a few years ago that my brother had been hounding her on a regular basis to allow him to take control over her estate and become her POA. I had no clue that he had been saying things to her throughout the years and comparing Mom to her sisters who had Alzheimers and died in their in late 70s and early 80s. I had no clue how harsh he spoke to her until 2009. My brother set out on a mission to prove our mother had Alzheimers because she repeated herself. Mom has always repeated herself. He had taken her to doctors and to ERs t be checked out. Not one doctor he took our mother to would go along with his hopes of getting our mother declared incompetent. He was hiding things in her home so that she could not find them hoping others would believe she was going crazy. He intercepted phone calls when he was visiting her in home and would not allow people to speak to her unless it was someone he liked. My brother followed her around when she was out and about. He knew every move she made and who visited her. Finally when Mother decided to change attorneys and update her will, not preventing him from an inheritance but just updating and moving others into spots of control, he filed a lawsuit seeking guardianship. He used a hospital record from 2010 that had the word dementia written in it. The lawsuit was filed in September of 2011. In Texas you cannot file a guardianship lawsuit unless you are using a doctor note/medical record that is less than 120 days old but his managed to get into the system. we spent 3 long years battling things. After 2 years in the courtroom, he was given the title guardian over our mother. She was not given any notice that she would be moved out of her home of 26 yrs. She was moved to an assisted living facility in the town that she lived in but no one was allowed to see her unless their name appeared on the list that my brother had made. One month after moving her into this facility, he moved her again. This time he did not tell anyone where she was. For 2 months no one in her family or her friends knew how to find her. After writing numerous letters to the judge, my brother had to come clean and let everyone know her whereabouts. He controlled everything. No one could take Mom out of the memory care unit he had living in. We all had to visit her in that unit. It wasnt until almost a year later and in court once again, the judge opened the door to take Mom out and enjoy life. My brother moved our mother once again. This time to a very dirty, smelly, nursing home and shes in the Alzheimers unit medicated. She has not been out to do anything social with family or friends in a year. We went to court last year around this time and the judge opened the door for visits but we had to go by the facility and doctor in charge of residents on how long and often our visits could be. Shes been on the DNP list for a year at this facility. The judge listened a year ago when the facility was living at before the nursing home testified they had documented abuse. They had documented him yelling at Mom and vice versa. APS, Adult Protective Services, had been keeping an eye on our mother since 2010 and never once said she needed to move out of her home. They too documented the emotional abuse but in Texas, this abuse does not warrant action. Mother has been living in an Alzheimers unit for just over a year. She is going t be 90 years old in December. She is very alert, sometimes forgetful, and makes sure appearance is nice. Shes trapped behind those doors and my hands are tied. My brother continues to control everything going on even though the judge stated very clearly the last time we were in court that he is only in charge of her living facility, paying her bills, and making sure she seeing a doctor when needed. The facility and doctor are in charge of deciding when she can leave the facility with others. They will not take a stand for her though. I visit my mom regularly. She talks about how she must be sick because of the facility she is having to live in. She talks about her thinking and how bad it is. These are all words that have been told her by my brother. We need to make sure Texas and all other states take emotionally abusing the elderly serious. It happens daily. The court system is not always on your side, which I have found. Taking the rights away from a guardian should be easier than it is. Please keep an eye on the elderly. As my mom did, they are private and do not want their dirty laundry to aired for all to see. Watch for signs of isolation. Theyre there. I wish I had seen them earlier but as so many others, no one wants to believe a family member is capable of doing such a thing. I would love to spread the word about what is going on with elderly people. I hope you will do the same.
I need help. My 96 yr old mother has been taken advantage of by my Sister whom replaced me in a false substitution as POA (not Attorney represented)as Trustee of our family Trust. Hundreds of thousand in dollars inventoried , hidden and falling off Moms radar was discovered and recently investigated by the Orange County Court system. GAL asssigned and paid for by my sister with Moms funds.(Promised bias against me by GAL and Delivered). Because I cant afford an attorney now, the case was thrown out and I recently filed for an appeal. Recently Granted thru hardship. Since then, same sister is having the rest of Moms money shifted to out of state, again another violation to our trust and Im attempting to go in front of judge tomorrow for exparte so they dont kidnap my mother to take her out of state, which is what I delayed with the prior court cases. Mom has Demensia and Alzheimers and Im going out of my head with the lack of Governmental support both thru the courts and local police dept. Wanting me to do their job, and then a year later telling me I need an attorney. This has beyond bankrupted me and has cost me another $100,000. in the last year tying to fight it alone. If you know anyone that I can contact-any an all help is needed.
Thanks,
Ziggy
Dear Kerri,
It broke my heart to hear your story about the battle you and your father endured in his final days. I live in Washington State, and the story, as you know, made headlines on a regular basis at the time.
My mother Catherine was diagnosed with dementia approximately four years ago. The dementia ravaged her mind very quickly. Out of the seven children in our family, my sister and I, we are the youngest, took it upon ourselves to care for our mother. The remaining family members stayed their distance and avoided getting involved. This was to be expected because they never really got involved with the needs of our mother upon our fathers death. As the dementia progressed, and our mothers needs became too much for just us two to handle, we reached out to our siblings for help. Reluctantly, they got involved with her care. In a short period of time our older siblings became exhausted and realized they were no longer interested in investing the time it took to care for our ailing mother. They thought of every way they could to alleviate their commitment to our mothers care.
Without speaking with us, and while our mother was still capable of understanding what was going on around her, our oldest sibling, along with her husband and daughter, and as agreed upon by our other siblings, tricked our mother into believing they were bringing her out for breakfast. Little did our mother know, that the breakfast was at a lock-down facility where they arranged for her to live. Days prior to her arrival, and while our mother was still living in her home, these members of our family slowly removed her personal things and took them to the facility. Many of our mothers items were stolen by our older siblings, her personal bank account was drained and family heirlooms were stolen as well, including our mothers wedding band that our father gave her.
After breakfast, these people, we no longer call any of them family, showed our mother her room. Mom was confused. She couldnt understand why her personal items were at this place. They then told her that this is her new home. My sister and I found out that our mother was brought to the facility two days later. The reason we didnt find out earlier is because our siblings prevented us from entering our mothers home in her final days there. Our older brother said that no one is to visit our mother until she has settled in. My sister and I immediately raced to be by her side. We family our mother sitting on the bed in her assigned room with tears in her eyes. We have never seen our mother cry before. She stood up and hugged us both tightly and said, How could they do this to me? She told us how they tricked her into going out to breakfast and how she thought it was odd that they had brought her things to this place. She kept crying and told us she wanted to go home.
I hired an attorney and basically kidnapped my mother and took her out of the facility. We had previously arranged to meet my attorney at her office upon leaving the facility. The police arrived at my home later that evening and after being interrogated they said this was a civil matter and it was out of their hands. They did do a welfare check to make sure the home was safe.
We battled with our siblings for many many months afterward to the tune in excess of $20,000. Which I drained from our 401k. We are now living one day at a time, but I would do it all over again if I had to. Our siblings said they wanted to visit our mother, and we agreed to arrange visitation days but they refused to see her at our home. Instead they insisted on having a guardian appointed. I asked mom what she wanted and being the loving mom she is told me she still wanted to see all of her children. I didnt want to have a guardian appointed but this appeared to be the only way they would agree to see her. After the guardian was appointed, she suggested our mother be relocated to a facility so all family could visit. I reluctantly agreed knowing that our siblings only wanted control and not what was best for our mom. Our suspicions were right. As soon as mom was placed in the facility all visitation by our older siblings had stopped. It has been over three years now and they have yet to step foot in the facility. To make matters worse, our mothers rights are in the hands of a guardian who neglects to make sure she is properly cared for. We are constantly contacting the state for them to investigate the neglect she faces on a daily basis.
There needs to be a law in place to protect the rights of the elderly. They need a voice.
Thank you for allowing me to share my story, her story, with you all.
Phil Davis
Dear Kerri,
It broke my heart to hear your story about the battle you and your father endured in his final days. I live in Washington State, and the story, as you know, made headlines on a regular basis at the time.
My mother Catherine was diagnosed with dementia approximately four years ago. The dementia ravaged her mind very quickly. Out of the seven children in our family, my sister and I, we are the youngest, took it upon ourselves to care for our mother. The remaining family members stayed their distance and avoided getting involved. This was to be expected because they never really got involved with the needs of our mother upon our fathers death. As the dementia progressed, and our mothers needs became too much for just us two to handle, we reached out to our siblings for help. Reluctantly, they got involved with her care. In a short period of time our older siblings became exhausted and realized they were no longer interested in investing the time it took to care for our ailing mother. They thought of every way they could to alleviate their commitment to our mothers care.
Without speaking with us, and while our mother was still capable of understanding what was going on around her, our oldest sibling, along with her husband and daughter, and as agreed upon by our other siblings, tricked our mother into believing they were bringing her out for breakfast. Little did our mother know, that the breakfast was at a lock-down facility where they arranged for her to live. Days prior to her arrival, and while our mother was still living in her home, these members of our family slowly removed her personal things and took them to the facility. Many of our mothers items were stolen by our older siblings, her personal bank account was drained and family heirlooms were stolen as well, including our mothers wedding band that our father gave her.
After breakfast, these people, we no longer call any of them family, showed our mother her room. Mom was confused. She couldnt understand why her personal items were at this place. They then told her that this is her new home. My sister and I found out that our mother was brought to the facility two days later. The reason we didnt find out earlier is because our siblings prevented us from entering our mothers home in her final days there. Our older brother said that no one is to visit our mother until she has settled in. My sister and I immediately raced to be by her side. We family our mother sitting on the bed in her assigned room with tears in her eyes. We have never seen our mother cry before. She stood up and hugged us both tightly and said, How could they do this to me? She told us how they tricked her into going out to breakfast and how she thought it was odd that they had brought her things to this place. She kept crying and told us she wanted to go home.
I hired an attorney and basically kidnapped my mother and took her out of the facility. We had previously arranged to meet my attorney at her office upon leaving the facility. The police arrived at my home later that evening and after being interrogated they said this was a civil matter and it was out of their hands. They did do a welfare check to make sure the home was safe.
We battled with our siblings for many many months afterward to the tune in excess of $20,000. Which I drained from our 401k. We are now living one day at a time, but I would do it all over again if I had to. Our siblings said they wanted to visit our mother, and we agreed to arrange visitation days but they refused to see her at our home. Instead they insisted on having a guardian appointed. I asked mom what she wanted and being the loving mom she is told me she still wanted to see all of her children. I didnt want to have a guardian appointed but this appeared to be the only way they would agree to see her. After the guardian was appointed, she suggested our mother be relocated to a facility so all family could visit. I reluctantly agreed knowing that our siblings only wanted control and not what was best for our mom. Our suspicions were right. As soon as mom was placed in the facility all visitation by our older siblings had stopped. It has been over three years now and they have yet to step foot in the facility. To make matters worse, our mothers rights are in the hands of a guardian who neglects to make sure she is properly cared for. We are constantly contacting the state for them to investigate the neglect she faces on a daily basis.
There needs to be a law in place to protect the rights of the elderly. They need a voice.
Thank you for allowing me to share my story, her story, with you all.
Phil Davis
My mother passed away three years ago from Kidney Failure and Dementia. I was living in another state and unfortunately by the time I got back and started looking into her finances it was too late. My brother who had been pilfering for years, using her credit cards, driving her cards, draining her accounts ended up taking everything. It caused a huge rift in the family and I still have nightmares. I never had my mother declared incompetent but at one time filed a restraining order against my brother so he could not contact her due to his financial dealings. Im still paying that attorneys bill off three years later. I miss my mother every day but still haunted by how difficult her caring became when I couldnt trust my own family.
I had a stepmother who denied not only myself, but strictly limited my grandparents (dads parents) from seeing him. She even went so far as to go to an attorney and have him draft a letter to all of us (my dads family) explaining when and what visitation we would be allowed. It was not much. I was even denied visitation at the hospital by the nurses, by her orders. Needless to say she drove a wedge between siblings as well. I havent talked to my own sister in 13 years because of her. My stepmother and I got into a physical altercation at the hospital when my dad was first admitted, because she would not allow me to visit my dad and even told the nurses that I wasnt allowed back to visit him, however her brothers and sisters were allowed free access. I would love to see the laws changed and hope youre able to do it.
My story is in my book PROBATE PIRATES ON AMAZON. Thank you Kerri Kasem
My father passed away in 2013 and 8 months later my mom moved about fifty miles away. Three months after the move my oldest sister starts some family drama. Resulting in me being ostricized from the family. My mother for the past two and half years has not ask me to visit or to see her youngest grand children. Every time I invite her to a family event. She goes and asks my eldest sister. Who gets hysterical and my mother never responds after that. I have never been invited to my mothers home and I believe she is being psychologically abused by my sister. She would never turn her back on her children or grand children otherwise.
My love of 13 years, Lynne Adler was MURDERED in Sutter Solano hospital that I took her to out of concern for her being short of breath. It was a slow, grisly needless death. It took ~6 weeks.
They gave her Reglan, contra indicated for her 4 different ways.
Suddenly she could not remember my name, though she knew who I was.
Then she could not speak and they had her tied to the bed forced to urinate and defecate on herself for the three weeks before they kidnapped her for the last 3 weeks, and secretly moved her to another town to starve her to death.
Several people conspired to do it. They do it all the time, with total impunity.
They think nothing of it, it is standard operating procedure. They are above reproach, protected by the police, some of whom must know, or the killers wouldnt be so brazen.
There is no recourse. They are never even suspect.
I paid a competent attorney more than $8,000 when they kidnapped her to find her and what was going on, for NOTHING! !
They gave her Reglan, contra indicated for her 4 different ways.
Suddenly she could not remember my name, though she knew who I was.
Then she could not speak and they had her tied to the bed forced to urinate and defecate on herself.
The doctor said Maybe she had a stroke.
WTF? If she did, it would have been in their intensive care.
With all those wires hooked up and all that intensive care, and the all important golden hour after a stroke that is so important, and can make all the difference,
you would think intensive care would be the place to have a stroke, if you were going to have one.
Why would her doctor be guessing 24 36 hours later, Maybe she had a stroke.
Tests showed she did not, yet her dr. insisted she did.
When I told him the nurse had read the findings of the MRI to me already, he flipped!
Who you going to believe, me or the nurse? He demanded.
He ranted The nurse doesnt know how to read the exam.
She read me the findings of the expert that read the exam, I replied. I believe the expert.
Lynne had appointed me to be her decision maker if she could not, but after 3 weeks the hospital shipped her across the parking lot by ambulance to a nursing home.
As soon as the ambulance left they took her back across the parking lot to the ER in a private car and left her strapped to a gurney in the hallway of the ER (never in a room though plenty were open) for the next 23 1/2 hours to make it appear to be a new admission from a nursing home and claim she had chosen to appoint someone else, to decide for her and that she never, ever wanted to see me again.
The RE- admission was for delirium.
By definition delirium has rapid onset. Previous three weeks in their hospital would mean they had caused it. The term is iatrogenic.
By definition iatrogenic delirium is not a condition decisions can competently be made. Doesnt matter. they can do any damn thing they want.
They GET AWAY WITH MURDER, ALL THE TIME!
They banned visitors to her,
Then secretly shipped her out of town to a Palliative care (KILL HOUSE)
KIDNAPPED
Where they further drugged her so she didnt eat for a few days, then she was too weak to eat, and they just let her starve to death!
MURDER
No water even.
I found her just a few hours before she died.
She had lost so much weight I almost didnt recognize her.
They threw me out in less than 10 minutes, saying i was not allowed to see the lady I lived with and loved for the past 13 years, that I had taken to the hospital, who had appointed me as her decision maker.
3 weeks dieing alone.
No water even. Her mouth was glued shut. Her body so stiff. I held her emaciated body as she told me she loved me as all the nurses demanded I leave and the cops showed up. They made her die alone.
Horrific!
No recourse.
You could be next.
I am and will always be a daddy girl, Even thou the years have been rough about 4 years ago me and my sister were called back to see our father who had gotten sick, not knowing if he was going to make it or not, It was in fact the first time we meet our new sister in-law, which charged me for the days that we were in there home, which we stayed at the hospital more but anyway, at that time I did not know she was charged me for it all .”the sister _in-law, who had already inherited 80 acres out of the blue, which we didnt know, but to make every thing worse her and my brother took all of our fathers land and money all of the land and has already been self deeded back to them, even the paperwork is forged, the issue we have is they have not let us see him or talk to him, they have isolated him from us , He “our brother has made up so many lies about us, he took us to court and we won and to this date he has not paid us a dime but he has ran us threw the mud, with all of his lies, when we have asked the local authoritys to help and all they say is our father is not our business, get a lawyer we have also contacted aps in that state and they say tat it is not their job to check on our father. It has been another year that I have not gotten to tell dad happy fathers day. our beloved mother has past away, there is so much more, when we were there with dad the doctor had said that dad had alizhimes and dementia, but yet here is all of tis signed paper and hi name is not right the dates are not right but ye no one is listening, my brother cashed in all of dad stocks and bonds he has cleaned him out there was no will y father always told us everything would be even steven, and me and my sister have tried everything to get information on our father and no one is telling us anything, we do not even know if he is still alive , When they took us to court thy claimed we were harassing them which was not even true we had written them a letter asking how was our father and they took us to court and we won, there was no harassing no threats nothing just a simple letter, an he ha made up false e-mails and claimed that they were from u s but none of that is true, He even had the nerve to walk those forged e-mails into a sheriffs office who thought that he should call and check on me, I said are u kidding me you should call in the fbi, but yet because w al live in different states no one will help ,so we are looking for answers on what we can do to find dad.
thanks sara
I live in California and my father and his 3rd wife, who hes been married to for 40 years, live in Indiana.
Several years ago, this womans behavior began radically changing toward me. As my fathers short-term memory loss worsened, she started a campaign to shut me out of his life. The woman, I believe, has a mental illness because her behavior became very erratic and unpredictable. I could feel my father slipping away from me with each phone call I made to him she would get on the phone and act very cold towards me.
When I visited them 3 years ago, she was antagonistic and unpleasant to be around. A couple of months after that, when I called my father, she was openly hostile, accusatory, extremely negative and wouldnt let me talk to him. I knew she had won the war in possessing and controlling my father and manipulating me out of his life. Needless to say, it has been a long period of grief for me. I wont be seeing or talking to my father again in this lifetime because of this womans craziness and hatefulness. I believe it was also her way of disinheriting me. I know my father would not want this, but he believes her, relies on her, and trusts her.
When I heard about Kerris painful situation with her father and his horrible and evil wife, I could totally relate. The same is happening with me.
Thank you, Kerri, for your efforts it takes a lot of courage to turn a broken, angry heart into a worthwhile cause.
Blessings to all of you who are going through such heart-wrenching experiences with your loved ones. We all have to find some place in ourselves to put the pain and then move forward.
My 93 year old mother dying of cancer had a caretaker helping her, since I work full time. She also had nurses from hospice coming in. The caretaker let her get terrible bed sores that were very deep. Another caretaker at the same time wrote checks from my mothers check book and stole $20,000. She took all my mothers jewelry and many of her prized possessions. They would leave my mother alone in the house and they would go off somewhere. I came to see my mother one day and found this out.
I fired the caretakers and had the thief arrested. They kept her in jail for 30 days and she has 5 years to pay back $315 a month. That is not justice. My mother died shortly after this happened. She was heartbroken to think the caretaker she trusted would do such a thing to her. My mother also had dementia the last few months of her life. When I went through my mothers closet, I found bloody clothes thrown under her pile of clothes. The caretakers also left all the dirty pots and dishes in the microwave so I wouldnt see them. They broke her good china and hid it. My mother had been bedridden for quite some time. She was also blind from macular degeneration.
I reported them to the State and found out they werent even licensed to give medical care. They were just house sitters whose agency lied. The agency was told NOT to ever advertise medical care since they werent licensed. We only got these caretakers since Hospice knew of them and approved of them. I told hospice what happened and never heard back.
This was a very painful experience for me, an only child, to go through. The thief was charged with elder abuse, BUT the judge did NOT ban her from ever working with the elderly again. I worry that she will do this to someone else.
My story is a series of systems and their failures starting with a bankrupt town, and therefore a system that is not in place to assist. I grew up at my Grandparents home in San Bernardino, CA. I lived there on and off as a teen- my grandfather died when I was 21- I have a tattoo of Grandma and Grandpa on my entire back- taken from their wedding day. I am an honorably discharge veteran of 7 years of military service- I had to give Grandma the flag off my Grandpas casket much harder than deployment during Operation Iraqi Freedom. My Grandmother in herself is unique- she is Japanese and came to the US (after 6 weeks of dating then marriage) shortly after WW2. Yes the very people we hated as a country (think Pearl Harbor) came here without a word of English to have her children and raise them in a better place. (She comically jokes that not knowing English saved her from hearing a lot of the racism she knew was spoken to her). So, Grandma a cute Japanese woman who didnt handle paying bills or naming her children even (the old days) was living alone for a few years on and off. Her only daughter- my Aunt moved in. My Aunt does not work and has never worked for longer than 2 years for any given job. But, she was caring for Grandma. I too moved in with Grandma for awhile again in my 30s(when I relocated back to California). Then having a family, establishing my career in California and buying my own home lead me to a few busy years. (I am a Registered Nurse (BSN)cum laude)
Last October I went to get Grandma for the pumpkin patch- my family often includes her in holidays etc. I was shocked at how much my Grandma declined, thin, lethargic, weak, frail. I have worked with my Uncle (established DPOA for my Grandpas affairs and last will) for the past year to attempt to gain financial control of my Grandmas assets (almost nothing). We have discovered the roof is leaking, the electrical and plumbing are unsafe ..the list goes on and on. My Aunt has been supporting herself, her husband, their drug habits and not caring for my Grandmothers property at all. Grandma gets a mere $2600- and her home is paid off. Aunt- moved in homeless mother with a small baby, signed up for solar panels- using my dead Grandfathers signature, threatened me in my home- I have a restraining order against her.
Now- we await a hearing almost a year later, while my Aunt has completely isolated my Grandma. She locks her in her home and has left her alone for the weekend. We (my Uncle and I) call APS, the police department, any agency we feel can assist us- the problem is: Grandma lives in San Bernardino- a town that is bankrupt and littered with crime- so elder abuse is the least important piece of the town it seems. I once called the police to make a report for a scheduled visit I had with my Grandma- who was taken out of town- out of the country actually to Mexico. The police said to wait for an officer to make my report. This call was placed at 1030am and the police called me back at 230am the following day to make my report.
It is a system of failures in place where isolation, neglect and abuse is encouraged because no one wants to do their job with integrity or pride. As a mandated reporter I feel like we have failed my Grandma and now we cannot see her for her last few years/months of life- due to the isolation my Aunt puts her in. I fear like the Kasem family that she may pass or have illness that her family will not be part of because her own daughter would rather support herself and her needs than care for her elderly mother.
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Christopher Barnes